What else did I learn after talking with 50 daughters from around the world? Here’s a radical notion: Retire. Now.
OK, that might be a bit over the top, taken literally. You probably can’t quit your job right now. But your daughter needs you while she’s young, more than anything else in the world.
I know all about this “peak earning years” pressure. I’ve been living it for the past two decades. It’s a strange culture we live in. We’ve reached an unparalleled level of prosperity, but we’re still stuck in an agrarian or industrial age mentality when it comes to our careers. We’re all revved up and working ourselves sick during our 30s and 40s—the same years in which our kids need us most.
Retirement is a lonely time for a lot of men. We’re not needed at work, our kids are gone. Many of us lament the road we traveled and how we paid short shrift to our kids.
I’m hoping the stories in my book help give men the courage to open more time and energy for their kids while they’re young. They come around only once as kids, and they need us. One of the things I saw in my research is that if you truly want a rich life, well into your older years, invest yourself emotionally in the lives of your kids.
Dads who did that with their daughters, like Cheryl Coupe’s and Ruth Burke’s dads in my book, are prospering as older men because their daughters can’t wait to spend time with them. Ruth in fact boggled my mind when we met, because she told me how she can’t wait for summer vacation every year so she can bring her dad along to spend a week with her family in central Oregon. I was stunned at how many times I heard stories like that.
We have the rest of our lives to make money. Our daughters get only one shot at a dad. We need to give them a dart to the heart. Just like she needed us when she was young, we’ll find we want and need her when we’re old.
OK dads and daughters—any regrets you can share? Any success stories that we all could learn from?
